It's a baby eastern milk snake. I know because I had reason to look it up last year. (There were two instances in which this species ended up in our apartment). They must have just hatched. It was over 50 degrees by the time we left for preschool today.
It was a very small snake. But I am very jumpy. I wasted an hour keeping track of it in hopes someone else would remove it for me. Any other day of the week, my husband would have come to my aid... But Tuesdays are currently orientation at Mission Point Resort.
Look what the snake can do:
I lost it at one point when I left the kitchen to change a pull-up. It was on the wall behind a rolling shelf (turns out I need to move that shelf more often and clean).
After an hour, it was getting close to preschool pick-up time. The idea of not knowing where a snake was in my home overpowered my fear of dealing with it. I swept that little snake out the door. Eastern milk snakes are not dangerous, but they do strike when disturbed. Even in a tiny thing like this, the striking is unnerving. I love its shadow in this picture:
As it matures, the red splotches will darken. The adults are thin and really long (2-4 feet).
The Michigan DNR map doesn't show any eastern milk snakes north of the Mackinac Bridge, obviously there are some on Mackinac Island. If snakes aren't your thing, don't worry! There are not tons, and I've not heard other snake-in-home stories. I'm just lucky. (And need to fix our front door so it seals better).
Much better location! (Not in my kitchen!)